So much pressure 

Not every black girl has smooth skin!

Some of us have acne and discoloration.

Not every black girl has wide hips and a big ass!

Some of us are straight and narrow.

Not every black person has rhythm!

Some of us clap off beat!

Not every black person listens to hip-hop, R&B, and rap.

Some of us listen to rock, indie, classical, and more genres!

Stop sexualizing everything we do on social media!

Stop pressuring us to be perfect!

Yes, we are frickin magical, but keep the pressure off of us and let us do our thang!

10 Something PM

I told this guy last Friday that I liked him.

I knew it was too late in the summer to tell him that, but I did it anyway.

I needed to get it off my chest.

He told me he liked me too, but it was definitely too late. We’re both going off to college next month. 

On Sunday, I asked him if it was really really too late. The first word in his response was, “unfortunately”. 

At the beginning of summer vacation, I was just sexually attracted to him, but then I began to see who he really was behind his attractiveness. He’s a loving, kind, smart dude. There’s so much to him that I have not seen. I want to see it. 

It’s too late.

It sucks. Sophomore year I had a crush on him, a HUGE crush. Then junior year came and it went away.

Then I started having feelings for his friend. Then I didn’t have any crushes. Then there was David. Now,  it’s the summer and I have feelings for this guy I will never be with. 

I hate crushes. I hate feelings. I hate time. I need it to slow down. I also hate self doubt. I’m saying that because I want to text him and invite him to hang, but I’m afraid that I’m too boring. 

I should just do it anyway. Do it! Do it! Do it! 

It’s okay, you’re fine whether he finds you boring or interesting, Hannah.


A few minutes later

Okay, so I just texted him. This is what I said: 


I just wanted to say goodnight”

He texted back saying he was right about to go to sleep and told me goodnight.

Gross, why am I sharing this…?

“Cause imma weirdo, imma imma weirdo”


I’m going on a fast.

I need to clear my mind.

Something is going on with me.

Social media has always made me sad, but I still check it.

I keep comparing myself to other people. 

I have this constant fear that my friends secretly don’t like me.

I know they do, it’s just that I worry about that a lot.

I worry a lot.

I like to be noticed.

I like attention.

There’s so much going on in my mind.

I have a constant fear that I’m not good enough.

I don’t know why I’m confessing all of this.

I just need to get some things out.

On the outside I look fine. 

On the inside I’m not.

I’m not fine. 

Things are going okay in my life, but I’m not okay.

I don’t know why.

My friend told me I judge myself too harshly.

She’s right, I do.

I’m staying off of social media for the rest of this week. 


My crush called me beautiful. I should be beaming with joy, I should be happy that he called me beautiful, but I hate it. I. Hate. It. I hate when people complement my physical appearance sometimes. I used to love it when I was younger because I thought if I look good I would have more friends and people would like me. I have very low self confidence. Now, on Monday he told me I was a unique individual and what I think matters. That was the best complement I had in a while. I like when people complement me on my mind and who I am as a person and I know I shouldn’t be relying on others to feel good about myself, but I don’t know… It would be nice if someone told me I was smart because I don’t think I am.



I’m 17

I am enough

my thoughts

I want to be a little kid again

im going to bleach my hair

A lot of my babyfat is gone

its kinda weird even though im 17 my mom still treats me like im 12

I’m graduating next year

yep you guessed i still have no freedom

17 is such a big number

my therapist is kinda creepy

I started high school yesterday

hes old

I dont want to grow up

i thought he wasnt going to know how to relate to me

I don’t want to apply  for college

hes a good therapist

Everything is happening too fast

ive seen a few of his clients

I want to start my life all over and do the right things

ive seen two they are both black and they are both female

Boys are starting to pay attention to me

idk why i find that funny

 That’s a blessing and a curse

because hes an old white man lol

The Loneliest Interview Ever

(I started writing this 522 days ago on September 30, 2014, I’m going to interview myself again,(idk why) but for now here’s this)

I was in the school library, on the computer, on my blog. 

INTERVIEWS ALEATOIRE: Hannah, why am I so awesome?!

HANNAH LEONARD: I don’t know! I think I can answer that one!

(I laugh)

IA: Wow, I really am funny! So any way back to my questions about myself. What year am I in high school?

HL: Well, I am a sophomore. I started last month.

THIS IS NOT A POEM (I am completely serious)

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

At the beginning of the year I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted to be. I was very passionate too.

But all of a sudden, school started.

All my dreams, passions, hopes, and everything just vanished.

I feel like an alien in my own body.

It’s like I have to start all over.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I really need help.

That’s kind of the reason why I wanted to see a therapist.

I just wanted to talk to someone about everything.

When I say everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

I do have friends that would be willing to listen, my family too.

But I don’t know, I’m just tired.