I

Know I told you guys this already, but I’ve been giving away things. Why? I have too much stuff!

I’m trying to be a minimalist, but at the same time I love stuff!! I think I’m a very quirky and eccentric young woman and I want my life to show or I guess represent that. 

How can I do that if I’m trying to be a minimalist?

My family is moving soon and I’m trying to get rid of more stuff. I don’t want to give shit away for free anymore, I want to sell. Ohhh, I know what I’m doing. I don’t want to be a minimalist, I just want to get rid of my old stuff so that I can buy new stuff! Ohh lol 😂 

I’m not trying to be a new person, but I’m trying to live a new life for me. 

I also want to explore different religions. I do believe that spirituality/religion is important at first I was unsure, not anymore. I’m going to continue reading the Bible and talking to God, but I want to explore Buddhism. I’ve always been interested in that religion, I need to do some research on it.

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Far away

Dear God,

I've been so far away from You. I want to get closer, but I don't know how. I want You to be my main focus. I've been putting my future, a boy, and other things ahead of You God. I don't like that. God, I want to have a relationship with You!! Please help me or send help because I don't know how to. I want to read Your Word, but I don't know where to start. God, send me a friend that I can connect with spiritually and we can grow together in You. God, You know what I need, so I'm trusting in You. Amen

Fast

I’m going on a fast.

I need to clear my mind.

Something is going on with me.

Social media has always made me sad, but I still check it.

I keep comparing myself to other people. 

I have this constant fear that my friends secretly don’t like me.

I know they do, it’s just that I worry about that a lot.

I worry a lot.

I like to be noticed.

I like attention.

There’s so much going on in my mind.

I have a constant fear that I’m not good enough.

I don’t know why I’m confessing all of this.

I just need to get some things out.

On the outside I look fine. 

On the inside I’m not.

I’m not fine. 

Things are going okay in my life, but I’m not okay.

I don’t know why.

My friend told me I judge myself too harshly.

She’s right, I do.

I’m staying off of social media for the rest of this week. 

Every morning, I do my daily devotion with God. I noticed a while ago that whenever I do it, whenever I spend time with Him my day is just amazing.

Today, I didn’t do my morning worship, but so far this day has been good. I started thinking, Do I really need to spend time with God to have an amazing day? I realized I wasn’t spending time with God just to spend time with Him, it was just so that I could have a good day. So I was using God for my satisfaction. Sometimes I get so worried when I don’t do it. I’m just like, Oh no, I didn’t do it, today is going to be awful I already know it. Earlier this week I did my worship and it was a pretty awful day.

I realized that when I do my worships with the One and Only, I should be in the right spirit. I should want to be with Him and talk to Him because 1.) He’s amazing and great, 2.) There is no one else like Him 3.) He created me, the heavens and the earth, and 4.) He makes my days wonderful and I should be grateful. I’d be useless without Him. My friend, Kiara, called God her Beloved and I just love that. I’m going to steal that from her.

THIS IS NOT A POEM (I am completely serious)

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

At the beginning of the year I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted to be. I was very passionate too.

But all of a sudden, school started.

All my dreams, passions, hopes, and everything just vanished.

I feel like an alien in my own body.

It’s like I have to start all over.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I really need help.

That’s kind of the reason why I wanted to see a therapist.

I just wanted to talk to someone about everything.

When I say everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

I do have friends that would be willing to listen, my family too.

But I don’t know, I’m just tired.

Being Tall In a Small World: My Third Interview With Gaelle Pierre

This summer I wanted to be productive. I wanted to work on my blogs and be happy. So on June 22, 2015 I decided that I wanted to interview Gaelle Pierre. Here’s the dealio… I originally wanted to interview her last year, like I had all the questions and everything, but I couldn’t. Something got in the way. (*Cough* *Cough* Canvassing (UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!) *Cough*).

Anyway…

Gaelle Pierre is my sister’s friend. I believe that they are very close. Gaelle went to Andrews University, which is a Seventh-Day Adventist college in Michigan. She is very very smart you can see that when reading the interview. The reason why I wanted to interview Gaelle was because I thought she was very interesting.

Different.

And not average.

I had to interview on Facebook because she lives in another state.

INTERVIEWS ALEATOIRE: You’re tall for a girl, when you were younger did you get bullied a lot or at all?

GAELLE PIERRE: No, I didn’t get bullied really. I was always the “odd individual” out. So while every other female in my group blended in, I always stuck out and was a bit awkward. I hated it as an adolescent.

IA: Sometimes that’s worse than getting bullied. It’s hard being different. So you really didn’t feel accepted?

GP: No, I didn’t feel accepted. As an adolescent all you want to be is normal. And with my tall stature, I was far from that. i was always last in line (we would go by height order) or all the way back for pictures. The only benefit was that I was usually picked first for many games my classmates played. People always believed that my height meant I had “supernatural” athletic abilities. Little did they know lol.

IA: So what are the advantages of being tall and the disadvantages for you?

GP: Some advantages of being tall, at least for me personally is that because of my body shape and length, I always look very slender/slim. My metabolism is fast, making it practically near impossible for me to gain weight. Another advantage for some might be the athletic aspect; some sports like basketball or volley ball might come a little bit easier because of height advantages. A disadvantage for me clothing options being limited. Finding articles of clothing that are actually long enough for my arms and legs can be a challenge. A large portion of stores display, sell and market clothes that are tailored to those of average height. Even for the few stores that do cater to the taller individuals (especially for females), clothing can be a bit more on the expensive side (more fabric is used for taller individual, making them over price the article of clothing in order to make an adequate profit).

IA: When did you start accepting your height?

GP: I started truly accepting my height the end of my senior year. I started to realize that this was a blessing that God had given me. I could either embrace it or spend  the rest of my life trying to ignore it. So I started to embrace it.

People need to understand that being different is not that bad. Embrace who you are and be happy. It was a struggle for Gaelle. You´re not going to be accepting of yourself so quickly, it takes time. Being different fun, but challenging. Those challenges help us to become accepting of ourselves and others.