Cause I’m a woman

W-O-M-A-N

I’m 18

I’m a woman

I’m a black woman.

I won’t stop being angsty.

The angst will go away on its own.

I can still be rebellious, but I’m gonna have to watch out more be—-

(Omg breaking news!!

This boy that I liked last year Snapchatted me. I just opened it and did not reply. I am utterly grossed out about that crush.)

I don’t want to want. I want to just be. Be content and hope for the best.

Is it bad to rethink things? I need to talk to God. I haven’t really talked to Him in a while.

Draft Number Thirteen

It is okay to cry. I am pretty sure you hear that a lot, but seriously it’s good to let it all out. I read this quote and it said something along the lines of this: “It is okay to cry. We came out of are mother’s belly crying. Crying is a sign that we are alive.” Don’t be ashamed to cry. But do this: “Don’t cry for someone who won’t cry for you.” -Lauren Conrad.

Window

Why do I give up so easily? I want to be a screenwriter, but I’m going into social work. I want to win an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, a Tony, and maybe an Emmy. I got accepted to Columbia College Chicago last month, I can’t go because of $$$. Can I still be an award winning screenwriter and playwright if I’m going into social work. Will I have time to write or even create art? I don’t mind being a social worker, but I don’t want to become one and forget about art, I don’t want to lose myself. 

I’m turning 18 next month. I’m not ready to grow up.

To me that’s a lot

I just spent $40 in two days. I don’t have a job. 

Somebody please pray that I get a job, so that I can buy stuff. 

I’m actually very serious, please pray for me I need a job.

Dear God,

You know how I am. You know that I like to shop. God, please I pray that I can find a job. Christmas is coming up and I want to get my siblings presents. God I really need one, not only for money, but to have something to do, to meet new people, to learn about being an adult…and to help pay for college. God, I really need a job. Please bless me with one. I praise you in Jesus’s name, Amen.