I’m me-ee, I’m me-ee, and that’s all I can be

It’s so exhausting trying to be someone you’re not. Trust me, I know.

I faked my way through most of high school.

I compromised myself to be liked. It worked, but at the same time it didn’t.

When I was being someone that I wasn’t I did gain friends. Good friends.

But when I was finally being me and expressing who I truly was I gained even better friends.

It sounds like I have myself all figured out and shit, but I haven’t.

I’m still trying to understand who I am. 

Identity is a struggle that everyone faces. Who are we? Who do we want to be? How do I just be?

This week I started creating videos. I would record myself, edit the video, then post it on YouTube.

As I was looking at the video, I thought to myself, Why don’t I act like that in front of my friends and family? I was being so extra in the video and I liked it. 

It’s so fascinating because I’m a different person in those videos. 

I feel like I am myself most of the time. Like 67% of the time, I just need to add on…add on…What’s 100-67?? I honestly do not feel like doing the math. Ughhh. Okay so 70, 80, 90, that’s 30. Okay so I need to add on that 33%. 

I guess I’m just scared to be me. I’m scared to say what’s on my mind, to be silly, to make stupid jokes.

I think I try too hard to be perfect. Nobody is perfect and most people know that and will accept you for who you are. 

I’m not perfect. I’m not the prettiest person on earth nor the smartest. I’m not the funniest, not the nicest. I have struggles and I had them too. I’m just me. I have flaws and you know what? That’s okay.

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Self-Esteem

Freshmen year of high school, I wrote a short essay for English about self-esteem. Here it is:

Self-Esteem

By: Hannah Leonard

“I feel pretty oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and bright and I pity any girl who isn’t me…” Should not a girl or a boy always feel that way. Feeling good about yourself is good for the mind, body and soul. I feel that way all the time. There’s times when I feel down and uncertain about my self, but that doesn’t mean I’m not confident. Feeling low about your self can make you miserable. People wouldn’t want to be around you because you are sad and depressed. Be happy and don’t worry.

Being cocky isn’t cool. Yeah having confidence is good, but when you have a lot. That’s a whole different story. Self centered people are rich and famous and some are not. You can be cocky if yo– You know what? Just be yourself, and be confident. Don’t care what people say about you, be happy and don’t worry. There is somebody knocking on the door who loves you. Open the door and be happy. You should not care if somebody started a rumor about you or said something about you. It isn’t true, so move on with your life. Be honest, loyal and trustworthy. One more thing, don’t worry and be happy!