I

Know I told you guys this already, but I’ve been giving away things. Why? I have too much stuff!

I’m trying to be a minimalist, but at the same time I love stuff!! I think I’m a very quirky and eccentric young woman and I want my life to show or I guess represent that. 

How can I do that if I’m trying to be a minimalist?

My family is moving soon and I’m trying to get rid of more stuff. I don’t want to give shit away for free anymore, I want to sell. Ohhh, I know what I’m doing. I don’t want to be a minimalist, I just want to get rid of my old stuff so that I can buy new stuff! Ohh lol 😂 

I’m not trying to be a new person, but I’m trying to live a new life for me. 

I also want to explore different religions. I do believe that spirituality/religion is important at first I was unsure, not anymore. I’m going to continue reading the Bible and talking to God, but I want to explore Buddhism. I’ve always been interested in that religion, I need to do some research on it.

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Gift

I often think of the past. The past two months, the past year, my lifetime. I don’t want to think of the past or future. I just want to be in the present. Because the present is a gift, it truly is. It was given to you by God. You may not like it, but examine it, and be in awe of its intricacies. Don’t throw it away. See, the thing about gifts is that you’re always getting a new one. Every second is a gift. Use it wisely, make the right decisions. 

10 Something PM

I told this guy last Friday that I liked him.

I knew it was too late in the summer to tell him that, but I did it anyway.

I needed to get it off my chest.

He told me he liked me too, but it was definitely too late. We’re both going off to college next month. 

On Sunday, I asked him if it was really really too late. The first word in his response was, “unfortunately”. 

At the beginning of summer vacation, I was just sexually attracted to him, but then I began to see who he really was behind his attractiveness. He’s a loving, kind, smart dude. There’s so much to him that I have not seen. I want to see it. 

It’s too late.

It sucks. Sophomore year I had a crush on him, a HUGE crush. Then junior year came and it went away.

Then I started having feelings for his friend. Then I didn’t have any crushes. Then there was David. Now,  it’s the summer and I have feelings for this guy I will never be with. 

I hate crushes. I hate feelings. I hate time. I need it to slow down. I also hate self doubt. I’m saying that because I want to text him and invite him to hang, but I’m afraid that I’m too boring. 

I should just do it anyway. Do it! Do it! Do it! 

It’s okay, you’re fine whether he finds you boring or interesting, Hannah.

***

A few minutes later

Okay, so I just texted him. This is what I said: 

“*ADAM!!!

I just wanted to say goodnight”

He texted back saying he was right about to go to sleep and told me goodnight.

Gross, why am I sharing this…?

“Cause imma weirdo, imma imma weirdo”

Black Boy

I can write a love story about every guy I’ve ever liked. 

Soft gentle full lips on mine.

A touch here

A hand there

A squeeze

A bite

A smile 

We stop and stare

I move away still staring

I’m cheesing

He’s laughing

“What?”

“You’re so cute.”

A pull

Hands at my waist

Arms around his neck

Another kiss

More intense 

A deep inhale

A tighter squeeze 

More

He wants more

I want more

But we stop

And that is

The end

THIS IS NOT A POEM (I am completely serious)

I don’t know what’s happening to me.

At the beginning of the year I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted to be. I was very passionate too.

But all of a sudden, school started.

All my dreams, passions, hopes, and everything just vanished.

I feel like an alien in my own body.

It’s like I have to start all over.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I really need help.

That’s kind of the reason why I wanted to see a therapist.

I just wanted to talk to someone about everything.

When I say everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

I do have friends that would be willing to listen, my family too.

But I don’t know, I’m just tired.

Being Tall In a Small World: My Third Interview With Gaelle Pierre

This summer I wanted to be productive. I wanted to work on my blogs and be happy. So on June 22, 2015 I decided that I wanted to interview Gaelle Pierre. Here’s the dealio… I originally wanted to interview her last year, like I had all the questions and everything, but I couldn’t. Something got in the way. (*Cough* *Cough* Canvassing (UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!) *Cough*).

Anyway…

Gaelle Pierre is my sister’s friend. I believe that they are very close. Gaelle went to Andrews University, which is a Seventh-Day Adventist college in Michigan. She is very very smart you can see that when reading the interview. The reason why I wanted to interview Gaelle was because I thought she was very interesting.

Different.

And not average.

I had to interview on Facebook because she lives in another state.

INTERVIEWS ALEATOIRE: You’re tall for a girl, when you were younger did you get bullied a lot or at all?

GAELLE PIERRE: No, I didn’t get bullied really. I was always the “odd individual” out. So while every other female in my group blended in, I always stuck out and was a bit awkward. I hated it as an adolescent.

IA: Sometimes that’s worse than getting bullied. It’s hard being different. So you really didn’t feel accepted?

GP: No, I didn’t feel accepted. As an adolescent all you want to be is normal. And with my tall stature, I was far from that. i was always last in line (we would go by height order) or all the way back for pictures. The only benefit was that I was usually picked first for many games my classmates played. People always believed that my height meant I had “supernatural” athletic abilities. Little did they know lol.

IA: So what are the advantages of being tall and the disadvantages for you?

GP: Some advantages of being tall, at least for me personally is that because of my body shape and length, I always look very slender/slim. My metabolism is fast, making it practically near impossible for me to gain weight. Another advantage for some might be the athletic aspect; some sports like basketball or volley ball might come a little bit easier because of height advantages. A disadvantage for me clothing options being limited. Finding articles of clothing that are actually long enough for my arms and legs can be a challenge. A large portion of stores display, sell and market clothes that are tailored to those of average height. Even for the few stores that do cater to the taller individuals (especially for females), clothing can be a bit more on the expensive side (more fabric is used for taller individual, making them over price the article of clothing in order to make an adequate profit).

IA: When did you start accepting your height?

GP: I started truly accepting my height the end of my senior year. I started to realize that this was a blessing that God had given me. I could either embrace it or spend  the rest of my life trying to ignore it. So I started to embrace it.

People need to understand that being different is not that bad. Embrace who you are and be happy. It was a struggle for Gaelle. You´re not going to be accepting of yourself so quickly, it takes time. Being different fun, but challenging. Those challenges help us to become accepting of ourselves and others.