goodbye…

I’m sad. I’m really sad… I’m sad, because I only have a page and a half left in my journal. I have had this journal since 2011. I’ve had it for four friggin years. Now I’m almost done with it. Why? WHY does this journey have to come to an end. I guess this is my goodbye letter to my journal…

Dear journal, hmm… Where do I begin. When I first saw you on March 25, 2011, I fell in love with you. You were the only thing I could write in when I didn’t have someone to talk to. By writing in you, I grew. I don’t know what I grew into, but I know it was into something good. It’s really hard to say goodbye. Just to let you know, um I already replaced you. Yeah, my sister got me a new journal for Christmas… But I will write in those last pages before the year ends. I love you and goodbye…
Sincerely,
Hannah M. Leonard

Goodbye

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From old to new. Time to start a new journey.

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Collar Bones

My friends and I had just taken some pictures. We were looking through the photos and talking about them. My friend Joe* said: “Wow Hannah, your collarbones are so deep. Are you anorexic?” I knew he was joking, but instead I said: “I know, I’m so skinny.” I was half joking. (After that I noticed Joe* was more careful with his words or jokes when he talked to me). I never really thought about my collarbones, before. It was one of those body parts I thought people didn’t pay attention to. I felt a little insecure at that moment. I felt insecure about my collarbones. I didn’t know I was that skinny. But 2 hours later I was fine. I actually learned to appreciate my collarbones in those 2 hours. People contour their chest with make-up just to have “collarbones.” And the collarbone thing actually runs in my family. I started saying out loud that same day that I love my collarbones. I wanted Joe* to hear. But he didn’t. I wanted him to know that what he said did not affect me in negative way, but in a positive way. Thanks Joe* for letting me love myself and my body in 2 hours.

Girls and boys appreciate your body. You are gorgeous! Who cares what other people say. You were carved into the image of Christ Jesus. Love yourself and your body. Because God loves it too.

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Do you see my collarbones? Aren’t they so deep and beautiful?

* Joe is a pseudonym. Fuck it, his name was Will.

Freddi Buscati

One day there was a boy named Freddi Buscati. Freddi was a Haitian boy who moved to Florida one year ago at the age of eleven. When Freddi was a young boy, his friends made fun of his name. They have never met a black boy whose name was Freddi. So the kids called him a blite (black mixed with the word white). Freddi didn’t know what they were saying since he only spoke Haitian Creole. But their body language showed that what they were saying was mean. So all he said to them was: “Ou nèg yo se kon.” They got scared and thought he put a curse on them. The kids ran away and never looked back.

Smile

“Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile”

-“Smile” by Nat King Cole

“When you’re smiling, when you’re smiling
The whole world smiles with you”

-Rufus Wainwright

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KEEP SMILING!!!!!

Violence

So I am really against violence. I do not like it at all. As a matter of fact, I hate it.
I have watched many videos of celebrities talking about violence and how it needs to stop. Just because you are a celebrity, a person isn’t going to just drop their gun, knife, fist, or whatever killing material in their hand and say: “I am done killing and punching people.” (But, I’m not gonna lie, if one of my favorite actors–*cough* Tom Hiddleston *cough* *cough*–made a video saying how violence needs to stop. I would surely listen.) We are surrounded by violence. It is on TV for goodness sake! Not only TV but it is also in music and in books. If you really want to get rid of violence get it off of the media and books. That encourages people, it gives them ideas. For example, crime scene shows. I am not saying stop watching TV or listening to music. But what I am saying is if you really hate violence you can not just say, you have to actually DO. People don’t like to be told what to do.
Also you have to practice what you preach. I am pretty sure if violence is on the media less, there would be less fights and murders.

Oh yeah, I am also not saying that violence is in every book, movie, TV show, etc.

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