This is weird

But I’ve been laughing a lot lately. I’m already a laugher…A fake laugher (don’t ask). But these laughs, these laughs they’re real. Belly rippling (?) laughs, wake up the dead laughs, I have to stop tying my shoe because the joke is so funny laughs, stomach grabbing laughs, I have to stomp my foot because I can’t stop laughing laughs!!! God, it feels so good! My stomach is kind of sore, though.

Every morning, I do my daily devotion with God. I noticed a while ago that whenever I do it, whenever I spend time with Him my day is just amazing.

Today, I didn’t do my morning worship, but so far this day has been good. I started thinking, Do I really need to spend time with God to have an amazing day? I realized I wasn’t spending time with God just to spend time with Him, it was just so that I could have a good day. So I was using God for my satisfaction. Sometimes I get so worried when I don’t do it. I’m just like, Oh no, I didn’t do it, today is going to be awful I already know it. Earlier this week I did my worship and it was a pretty awful day.

I realized that when I do my worships with the One and Only, I should be in the right spirit. I should want to be with Him and talk to Him because 1.) He’s amazing and great, 2.) There is no one else like Him 3.) He created me, the heavens and the earth, and 4.) He makes my days wonderful and I should be grateful. I’d be useless without Him. My friend, Kiara, called God her Beloved and I just love that. I’m going to steal that from her.

Positivity!

poz•i•tiv•i•tee

the state or character of being positive : a positivity thay accepts the world as it is.

Hmm… Okay. To be honest I don’t even understand this definition…

I actually do.

But I don’t

So I’m trying to be more positive. Why? you may ask. Well because believe it or not I’m a very rude, mean, negative person. I talk about people behind there backs in a bad way. Some may call me a bitch. So I’m trying to change that. 

But how?

So this week starting now I am challenging myself to be more positive and encouraging about everything. If it goes well, I will try to continue.

I hope I get better.

I will. I can do this!

You should try too.

Snow Day (Final Part)

Since I was off yesterday, I was pretty bored. When I’m bored I do stupid things that waste my parents money. So this is what I did: I MADE A SQUISHY EGG!!!!
This is how you make one:
Get a cup
Put an egg in it
Fill the cup with vinegar
The vinegar has to cover the whole egg
Wait for 12 to 24 hours
After waiting, take the egg out of the cup carefully. You’re going to have to scrub the shell off. This is how it should look like

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I think if I waited longer the egg would be clear enough to see the yolk inside of it. Isn’t cool?
30 minutes later, it slipped out of my hand and broke. It was sad, because I barely got play with it. 😦 It’s okay though… I wasted my mommas money, now that I think about it. That was the second to last egg. I used like half of the vinegar… Oh well, at least it was fun to make!

So after cleaning up the spilled egg from the carpet, I made spaghetti. (Because that’s the only food I know how to make). My spaghetti was so good! I flavored the spaghetti sauce so well! It was so tasty! This is what I put in the sauce:
Store bought tomato sauce
Shredded cheese
Louisiana hot sauce
Tabasco hot sauce
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Salt
Parmesan cheese
Parsley flakes
Cayenne pepper
Mm…mm…mmm… It was marvelous
Then I had green beans at the side. You guys should have been there.

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Yassss!!!!!

After that, my sister and I went outside to enjoy the snow. We tried making a snow man, but it ended up being a small mountain…

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I’m Dreaming of a White February!

Today is the first day of February. Today is the Super Bowl. Today there is a snowstorm outside. Today is the day when I will start all my goals!!!
February Goals:
Write on both blogs each day for the month of February. (That’s going to be a challenge).
Do pushups and sit-ups everyday, increase the number each day
Eat every four hours (no snacks in between)
Get spiritual high back
Read two chapters a day in the Bible (morning and night)
FOCUS ON SCHOOL!!!!
Be honest
Be vulnerable
Be patient
Be genuine
Wear the clothes I want
Have a positive attitude about everything
Stop caring too much
Spend less time on electronics

I CAN DO THIS!!!!! This will start in 5…4…3…2… . . GET READY FEBRUARY! HERE I COME!!!!

A Letter to My Mom (my parents don’t read my blog…so I can do this)

WARNING: If you are a male this might make you uncomfortable!

Dear Mom,
What am I doing wrong??? I’m a good kid. I get average grades, I don’t do drugs or party. I read my Bible. I believe in God. I have lots of things to say, but it’ll come out rude so that’s why I’m writing this letter. Okay. Here I go. Will you please stop belittling me? Yes, I know I’m fifteen, but what does that have to do with what you are talking about. I understand what you are saying. I understand what’s going on. Mom, can you please give me a little freedom? I feel like I’m living in a box and I can’t get out. That’s why I do little things to make me feel free. Like dying the ends of my hair or not wearing bras. Speaking of bras… Mom, one of the reasons why I stopped wearing bras was because you’d always get me the wrong size… Yeah. I l know you get really upset that I don’t wear them. Instead of getting mad, can you please give me a reason why I can’t wear them. I know how to cover everything up without using a bra. (Side note: Today my mom was talking to me and she was like: “Hannah, I always tell you to wear a bra, but you never listen to me.” She was so mad! It’s just a bra. Then she whooped me for wearing a tank top with no bra on at home. Seriously). Another reason why I don’t wear them is because I don’t want my boobs to be saggy! (Sorry guys). Mom I feel like every little thing I do, you get angry. Why can’t you be more supportive? Also can you give me a reason why I can’t do certain things, instead of forcing me not to do them. Can you please stop saying you’re going to do something, but never do it? I asked for ballet lessons for a whole year. A whole year! You’d keep saying, okay. But it never happened. Then you started to get annoyed that I was asking. I feel controlled. I know you are my mom and you are supposed to be a little controlling. But why do I have to feel this way, like I’m constrained. Sometimes I feel like you are Margaret White in Carrie and I’m Carrie. (Not crazy, though. We’re pretty sane). I just want some freedom, mom. That’s all I want… You are a good mother, though. You take care of me when I’m sick, you take me to school. You did other good stuff that makes me love you. I do know sometimes I can be a little disrespectful, but honestly I have been working on that and I think I’ve gotten better. So yeah… I love you and I just wanted to be honest.

Love,
Hannah M. Leonard

1.1.15 Thursday

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! New year, new me. You’re probably rolling your eyes at the screen right now. But seriously, I’m really trying to improve this year. I want to live a better and healthy life. I’m young so it’s best if I start now. Okay, so here are my New Year’s Resolutions.

Hannah’s New Year’s Resolutions:
Write a screenplay/script
Create a fashion blog
Have a closer relationship with God
Listen to more Christian music
Take care of my body
Be more honest and vulnerable
Draw more
Spend less time on social media
Spend less time on phone
Focus on school
Appreciate the things I have

So what are your New Years Resolutions. Comment and tell me!

goodbye…

I’m sad. I’m really sad… I’m sad, because I only have a page and a half left in my journal. I have had this journal since 2011. I’ve had it for four friggin years. Now I’m almost done with it. Why? WHY does this journey have to come to an end. I guess this is my goodbye letter to my journal…

Dear journal, hmm… Where do I begin. When I first saw you on March 25, 2011, I fell in love with you. You were the only thing I could write in when I didn’t have someone to talk to. By writing in you, I grew. I don’t know what I grew into, but I know it was into something good. It’s really hard to say goodbye. Just to let you know, um I already replaced you. Yeah, my sister got me a new journal for Christmas… But I will write in those last pages before the year ends. I love you and goodbye…
Sincerely,
Hannah M. Leonard

Goodbye

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From old to new. Time to start a new journey.

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Collar Bones

My friends and I had just taken some pictures. We were looking through the photos and talking about them. My friend Joe* said: “Wow Hannah, your collarbones are so deep. Are you anorexic?” I knew he was joking, but instead I said: “I know, I’m so skinny.” I was half joking. (After that I noticed Joe* was more careful with his words or jokes when he talked to me). I never really thought about my collarbones, before. It was one of those body parts I thought people didn’t pay attention to. I felt a little insecure at that moment. I felt insecure about my collarbones. I didn’t know I was that skinny. But 2 hours later I was fine. I actually learned to appreciate my collarbones in those 2 hours. People contour their chest with make-up just to have “collarbones.” And the collarbone thing actually runs in my family. I started saying out loud that same day that I love my collarbones. I wanted Joe* to hear. But he didn’t. I wanted him to know that what he said did not affect me in negative way, but in a positive way. Thanks Joe* for letting me love myself and my body in 2 hours.

Girls and boys appreciate your body. You are gorgeous! Who cares what other people say. You were carved into the image of Christ Jesus. Love yourself and your body. Because God loves it too.

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Do you see my collarbones? Aren’t they so deep and beautiful?

* Joe is a pseudonym. Fuck it, his name was Will.