Every morning, I do my daily devotion with God. I noticed a while ago that whenever I do it, whenever I spend time with Him my day is just amazing.

Today, I didn’t do my morning worship, but so far this day has been good. I started thinking, Do I really need to spend time with God to have an amazing day? I realized I wasn’t spending time with God just to spend time with Him, it was just so that I could have a good day. So I was using God for my satisfaction. Sometimes I get so worried when I don’t do it. I’m just like, Oh no, I didn’t do it, today is going to be awful I already know it. Earlier this week I did my worship and it was a pretty awful day.

I realized that when I do my worships with the One and Only, I should be in the right spirit. I should want to be with Him and talk to Him because 1.) He’s amazing and great, 2.) There is no one else like Him 3.) He created me, the heavens and the earth, and 4.) He makes my days wonderful and I should be grateful. I’d be useless without Him. My friend, Kiara, called God her Beloved and I just love that. I’m going to steal that from her.

To me that’s a lot

I just spent $40 in two days. I don’t have a job. 

Somebody please pray that I get a job, so that I can buy stuff. 

I’m actually very serious, please pray for me I need a job.

Dear God,

You know how I am. You know that I like to shop. God, please I pray that I can find a job. Christmas is coming up and I want to get my siblings presents. God I really need one, not only for money, but to have something to do, to meet new people, to learn about being an adult…and to help pay for college. God, I really need a job. Please bless me with one. I praise you in Jesus’s name, Amen.

God is so gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

So like over a month ago I lost my retainers. I lost my Gosh Darn Retainers!!!!

I’m like how did I lose my retainers in a small two bedroom apartment. 

So night and day for like two weeks I’m praying and I’m trying to be a good Christian, so that I can find my retainers.

I’m like, “God I’ve been praying for two weeks straight, why can’t I find them?” You guys, I’m like getting so frustrated with God. I’m like, “GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??? MY TEETH ARE STARTING TO SHIFT!!! UGHHHHH! GOD, ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON OR SOMETHING???” 

I eventually stopped praying, because I had this feeling that I was going to find it and I just needed to be patient. I just trusted God that I was going to find it. So I’m just chillin and shiz. I’m not worried or frustrated, I’m just all good.

So today I lost my boot and as I was looking for it under my bed…I found my RETAINERS!!!!!! God is so good!

Just relax, and let God do His thang. Trust in Him with your whole heart. 

Psalm 9:10 And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”

Idk what to do

I don’t know what’s happening to me. Like I’m usually a really dry person who shows no emotion and says, “Oh” to anything I don’t know how to respond to. Then all of a sudden in January of 2016 I became this cheery happy person and I tried my best to respond with something interesting. Ugh I freaking hate that, I try too hard then things become awkward. Because of this sudden change, I messed up things with my crush.(he also messed up) He and I could’ve had chance. I don’t know how to fix things… I’m so sad and mad. 😥😡😥😡😡😡😡😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😡

The past two days I was m–

I’m just going to put this situation into God’s hands. He’ll know what to do. 

From now on I’m going to quit talking about this boy with my friends and quit writing about him because I’m annoying myself.

Snow Day!!! (Part One) (2.2.15)

Since there was a blizzard yesterday, I had no school! Yay! I’m glad I had today off because I didn’t even finish my English homework. It’s late I should probably get started on it. Before I do that, I’m going to finish this post!

Today started off bad then turned into good. This is why:
So I woke up feeling hurt. I felt that God wasn’t hearing or answering my requests. I have been asking and praying for these requests for years. For some reason, I felt like He wasn’t doing anything. I was hurt and sad. I kept saying things like: “God, I believe in You and trust You, but why aren’t You doing anything? I’m frustrated! I don’t want to doubt You, for some reason I’m leaning toward doubt. Are You really there? No. I know You are, but it feels like You aren’t.” I was angry. But then something amazing happened. I don’t know why, but I grabbed my iPod, opened up WordPress, and read my sister’s recent blog post. (I will reblog it so you guys can read it). It was about how God answers prayers. He already answered even before you prayed about it. It may take time before you actually have the answer, but you just have to be patient. As I was reading the post, I cried. It really got to me. God new what I was going through. He new that I was starting to doubt Him. He was telling me that I just need to be patient, keep praying, and trusting in him. I need that. Thank You God!

I have a lot of other things to say about my day, but I’m going to stop right here. This post would be super long if I kept going so goodnight!

Ps. I will reblog my sister’s post

1.1.15 Thursday

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! New year, new me. You’re probably rolling your eyes at the screen right now. But seriously, I’m really trying to improve this year. I want to live a better and healthy life. I’m young so it’s best if I start now. Okay, so here are my New Year’s Resolutions.

Hannah’s New Year’s Resolutions:
Write a screenplay/script
Create a fashion blog
Have a closer relationship with God
Listen to more Christian music
Take care of my body
Be more honest and vulnerable
Draw more
Spend less time on social media
Spend less time on phone
Focus on school
Appreciate the things I have

So what are your New Years Resolutions. Comment and tell me!

goodbye…

I’m sad. I’m really sad… I’m sad, because I only have a page and a half left in my journal. I have had this journal since 2011. I’ve had it for four friggin years. Now I’m almost done with it. Why? WHY does this journey have to come to an end. I guess this is my goodbye letter to my journal…

Dear journal, hmm… Where do I begin. When I first saw you on March 25, 2011, I fell in love with you. You were the only thing I could write in when I didn’t have someone to talk to. By writing in you, I grew. I don’t know what I grew into, but I know it was into something good. It’s really hard to say goodbye. Just to let you know, um I already replaced you. Yeah, my sister got me a new journal for Christmas… But I will write in those last pages before the year ends. I love you and goodbye…
Sincerely,
Hannah M. Leonard

Goodbye

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From old to new. Time to start a new journey.

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Collar Bones

My friends and I had just taken some pictures. We were looking through the photos and talking about them. My friend Joe* said: “Wow Hannah, your collarbones are so deep. Are you anorexic?” I knew he was joking, but instead I said: “I know, I’m so skinny.” I was half joking. (After that I noticed Joe* was more careful with his words or jokes when he talked to me). I never really thought about my collarbones, before. It was one of those body parts I thought people didn’t pay attention to. I felt a little insecure at that moment. I felt insecure about my collarbones. I didn’t know I was that skinny. But 2 hours later I was fine. I actually learned to appreciate my collarbones in those 2 hours. People contour their chest with make-up just to have “collarbones.” And the collarbone thing actually runs in my family. I started saying out loud that same day that I love my collarbones. I wanted Joe* to hear. But he didn’t. I wanted him to know that what he said did not affect me in negative way, but in a positive way. Thanks Joe* for letting me love myself and my body in 2 hours.

Girls and boys appreciate your body. You are gorgeous! Who cares what other people say. You were carved into the image of Christ Jesus. Love yourself and your body. Because God loves it too.

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Do you see my collarbones? Aren’t they so deep and beautiful?

* Joe is a pseudonym. Fuck it, his name was Will.