July 15, 2017

I talk to God. Out loud. 

We have plenty of UHMAZING conversations. 

Whenever I talk to Him, I have a major breakthrough.

Whenever I talk to Him, I am smart, am wise, I am a better me.

When I don’t talk to the One and Only, my mind is blank, hollow, empty.

Whenever I focus on things other than God, I get hurt.

God should be my main focus. He’s guiding me through life and I need to follow. 

Sometimes being a follower is difficult because you want to do your own thing and be your own person. 

Advertisements

God

“Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game. Too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It’s time to trust my instincts close me eyes and leap…”

This is the second time in my life that I’ve questioned God’s existence. I don’t know why? I don’t want to have doubts. God has blessed me in my life. I know He has. It’s weird. I know God is out there, but I feel like He isn’t. My faith isn’t grounded. It needs to be. 

I take a humanities class. Comparative Religion. It’s only my first week of school and I already love that class. Religion is so interesting and how it came about. Religion gives us confidence and hope. If there was no religion, no God, what would we live for? God, for me in my life, He is my end goal. He is where I want to be. I don’t like religion because of rules, but I like God. Maybe I’m not questioning God because I know he’s out there, I’m questioning my religion.

Far away

Dear God,

I've been so far away from You. I want to get closer, but I don't know how. I want You to be my main focus. I've been putting my future, a boy, and other things ahead of You God. I don't like that. God, I want to have a relationship with You!! Please help me or send help because I don't know how to. I want to read Your Word, but I don't know where to start. God, send me a friend that I can connect with spiritually and we can grow together in You. God, You know what I need, so I'm trusting in You. Amen

Every morning, I do my daily devotion with God. I noticed a while ago that whenever I do it, whenever I spend time with Him my day is just amazing.

Today, I didn’t do my morning worship, but so far this day has been good. I started thinking, Do I really need to spend time with God to have an amazing day? I realized I wasn’t spending time with God just to spend time with Him, it was just so that I could have a good day. So I was using God for my satisfaction. Sometimes I get so worried when I don’t do it. I’m just like, Oh no, I didn’t do it, today is going to be awful I already know it. Earlier this week I did my worship and it was a pretty awful day.

I realized that when I do my worships with the One and Only, I should be in the right spirit. I should want to be with Him and talk to Him because 1.) He’s amazing and great, 2.) There is no one else like Him 3.) He created me, the heavens and the earth, and 4.) He makes my days wonderful and I should be grateful. I’d be useless without Him. My friend, Kiara, called God her Beloved and I just love that. I’m going to steal that from her.

To me that’s a lot

I just spent $40 in two days. I don’t have a job. 

Somebody please pray that I get a job, so that I can buy stuff. 

I’m actually very serious, please pray for me I need a job.

Dear God,

You know how I am. You know that I like to shop. God, please I pray that I can find a job. Christmas is coming up and I want to get my siblings presents. God I really need one, not only for money, but to have something to do, to meet new people, to learn about being an adult…and to help pay for college. God, I really need a job. Please bless me with one. I praise you in Jesus’s name, Amen.

God is so gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

So like over a month ago I lost my retainers. I lost my Gosh Darn Retainers!!!!

I’m like how did I lose my retainers in a small two bedroom apartment. 

So night and day for like two weeks I’m praying and I’m trying to be a good Christian, so that I can find my retainers.

I’m like, “God I’ve been praying for two weeks straight, why can’t I find them?” You guys, I’m like getting so frustrated with God. I’m like, “GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??? MY TEETH ARE STARTING TO SHIFT!!! UGHHHHH! GOD, ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON OR SOMETHING???” 

I eventually stopped praying, because I had this feeling that I was going to find it and I just needed to be patient. I just trusted God that I was going to find it. So I’m just chillin and shiz. I’m not worried or frustrated, I’m just all good.

So today I lost my boot and as I was looking for it under my bed…I found my RETAINERS!!!!!! God is so good!

Just relax, and let God do His thang. Trust in Him with your whole heart. 

Psalm 9:10 And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”