Sunrise Sunrise

I saw the sunrising this morning. I was laying in my bed, awake. I look at my window next to me. I look away then back. I move aside the curtain and see that the sky is orange. I grab my phone, my keys, I put on my shoes, then walk out the door. There was a huge thunderstorm last night, so the earth was still dripping. The bugs were chirping so loudly, it was beautiful. I finally look up and the sky…the sky is violet

My eyes fill with wonder. I continue admiring the vast beyond. I begin to walk, not looking down but up. As I walk toward the sunrise side the colors change

Instead of violet and blue, there's pink, red, yellow. I stop walking for a bit and kind of stand watching the rising sun reflect its light on the majestic clouds. None of this looks real. I felt as if I were in an art gallery admiring a painting of morning. But this wasn't artificial, it was raw, intrinsic. This is God. This is a part of Him.

I walk back home still appreciating morn. I don't go inside. I just sit down listening to nature. Listening to the drip and the drop of rain onto puddles. The clicking, the hissing, and the chirping of bugs. In that moment I wanted to be one with nature. I wanted to be a majestic cloud. I wanted to be part of the trees and grass. One day I will be.

Insecure

I gained weight and I don’t feel beautiful. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to bring my self esteem down. 

I want to be smaller again. So this summer I’ve been working out, eating healthy, eating less. I’m not sure if there is a difference. I hope there is. 

I cheated this weekend. I had a ton of sweets and junk food. Buttttt I’m blaming that all on my period. 

To not feel insecure about this I should probably stop comparing myself to other people.