I told this guy last Friday that I liked him.
I knew it was too late in the summer to tell him that, but I did it anyway.
I needed to get it off my chest.
He told me he liked me too, but it was definitely too late. We’re both going off to college next month.
On Sunday, I asked him if it was really really too late. The first word in his response was, “unfortunately”.
At the beginning of summer vacation, I was just sexually attracted to him, but then I began to see who he really was behind his attractiveness. He’s a loving, kind, smart dude. There’s so much to him that I have not seen. I want to see it.
It’s too late.
It sucks. Sophomore year I had a crush on him, a HUGE crush. Then junior year came and it went away.
Then I started having feelings for his friend. Then I didn’t have any crushes. Then there was David. Now, it’s the summer and I have feelings for this guy I will never be with.
I hate crushes. I hate feelings. I hate time. I need it to slow down. I also hate self doubt. I’m saying that because I want to text him and invite him to hang, but I’m afraid that I’m too boring.
I should just do it anyway. Do it! Do it! Do it!
It’s okay, you’re fine whether he finds you boring or interesting, Hannah.
A few minutes later
Okay, so I just texted him. This is what I said:
I just wanted to say goodnight”
He texted back saying he was right about to go to sleep and told me goodnight.
Gross, why am I sharing this…?
“Cause imma weirdo, imma imma weirdo”