Square

“My head is spinning. Drop me in a whole. I want to fall forever.”

That quote is from my last post. When I posted it then read it after, I noticed the mistake I made. I put “whole” instead of “hole.” I was going to fix it, but I decided not to. The hole is whole. I’m never going to fall in a hole forever and run away from my problems. Or I’ll fall into hole, but I have to find a way to get out. 

If a hole is whole, I can’t fall in.

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The day after

I made a fool of myself and that’s okay.

I’m growing up. I’m trying new things. I’m experiencing new things and that’s okay. 

Stupidity is part of growing up. Mistakes is part of growing up. I should be okay with that.

I’m hurt. I’m happy. I’m free to be me. I was always free to be me, but I was scared. Well, I still am. 

I’m hurt, I’m hopeful. Hopeful for my own future. 

I will get better at things. I will stop caring, stop being ashamed.

I’m hurt. Relax. I’m hurt. Relax. I was stupid. Relax. I was stupid. Rela—SHUT UP!! ……………Calm the fuck down.

I hate labels. I’m hurt. I’m sleepy. I care….A lot. It’s obvious. 

Energy wasted not being myself. I’m learning. 

High School. I just realized I don’t take anybody seriously at school. 

I can keep writing. I will.

I like to be independent and do things on my own. 

I should’ve–SHOULDA COULDA WOULDA

We get it, you regret this or that. 

My head is spinning. Drop me in a whole. I want to fall forever. 

School is just school. The people there are just people.

It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to feel stupid. We all have our regrets 

Not a Draft

I wish I knew how to converse with people. I have a lot to say, I’m just a slow thinker and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I wish I knew how to connect with people.

I’m going to college soon and I want to make lifelong friends. It’s going to be harder though because I’m going to a community college.

Making friends and connecting with people shouldn’t be hard though. People do it all the time.

I’m so bored with my life. I want to have fun!!! I want to try new things, meet new people.

I really want to not post this and save it as a draft, but I told myself, I am not doing that this year.

Ughhhhhh

Kiss

I want to tell everyone. 

My mom

My dad

My sisters

My brothers

Each and everyone of my friends,

but I can’t.

Is it really any of their business? How do I tell them? It can’t be all at once. I’ll tell them at the end, when it’s all over. What would my parents think? They wouldn’t​ be angry. I know what they’d do and it would bother me so much. 

This news is exciting! and new for me.

I just hope everything works out in God’s favor.

April 9, 2017 Sunday (Journal Entry)

(why am I sharing this??)

“Dear journal, everbodies struggle is not the same. People respond to their past differently. Everybody is allowed to feel or hurt or sad. I hate when people are like ‘my sob story is worse than yours, so you don’t understand and you’re not allowed to be hurt or feel some intense emotion.’ It bothers me when people do that. It’s not fair.”

My biography Draft 18

On March 23, 1999 a star was born her name is Hannah Michelle Leonard. This is her story. Since the beginning Hannah was always writing. If you look at her mother stretch marks you can see little words. Hannah has been writing ever since she was a little fetus. She would write down the words her mother said to her when she was a baby like: “ohh this baby is too damn heavy!” Or “I have taste for some rum balls right now!”