Am I black enough? That is the question I ask myself everyday. Am I black enough? I’m not #woke. I’m still not sure if I experienced racial injustice. I’ve been told that I listen to “white music.”(Coldplay is AMAZING btw). I haven’t watched every black movie. I know I’m black, but am I black enough? In the summer of 2015 I wanted to change. I wanted to be like the kids at school. I downloaded IHeartRadio and only listened to the R&B station. I wanted to listen rap. I wanted to talk about the latest song. I just wanted to be black.* One night I listened to Nicki Minaj’s Pinkprint album like five times to memorize lyrics. I started listening to J. Cole and Kanye West*. It’s like if you’re immersed in black culture, then you’re black. Well, that’s how it is at school.
I started writing this two months ago when I was really struggling with being black. I talked to my sister about this and she said that this feeling of not being black enough is part of the black experience. After she said that I felt a little better.
There’s no such thing as being black enough. I just realized that. It’s not about culture, but our history and what our ancestors went through and the struggles we face. That’s really what makes me and my family and my friends black.
*I’m not going to lie, but I’m really proud of myself for being open to rap music and hip hop. Some people who never listened to it just judge and say that it’s bad, but not all of it is.
*If you want to get in to Kanye, listen to his old music.