start All over

I can’t wait to start my life all over. I’m so embarrassed about the things I’ve said and done in high school…well mainly my junior year. I really need to go somewhere where nobody knows me and I can finally be myself.

I’m so glad junior year is over. I really think I was having a mental break or something. I was literally going crazy. I was going through some shiiiiit.

BUT GOD!

God is so good though, let me tell you I really feel mentally stable…kind of.

I’ve been doing my worship and talking to God. Things are going well because I have Jesus’s peace in my heart.

But honestly every night I keep thinking about the things I said and did last school year and I get so worried and I don’t know what to do. I need to go to college and start a new life like now. Like forreal.

To me that’s a lot

I just spent $40 in two days. I don’t have a job. 

Somebody please pray that I get a job, so that I can buy stuff. 

I’m actually very serious, please pray for me I need a job.

Dear God,

You know how I am. You know that I like to shop. God, please I pray that I can find a job. Christmas is coming up and I want to get my siblings presents. God I really need one, not only for money, but to have something to do, to meet new people, to learn about being an adult…and to help pay for college. God, I really need a job. Please bless me with one. I praise you in Jesus’s name, Amen.

Jealousy

I get jealous of people, but I never get jealous because of some boy.

This girl has a crush on this boy that I had/have a crush on who has a girlfriend.

The boy had feelings for me before. I’m not sure if he still does.

So I’m jealous of this girl because what if the boy breaks up with his girlfriend and gets to know the girl more and they become a couple. I really hope that doesn’t happen. It can’t happen. Whenever I see them talking I feel a stab in my heart. I shouldn’t be feeling this way because he has a girlfriend. 

I need him to move to another state…like now, so I won’t feel this way. Or maybe I just need to move on from him. I need to focus on something other than some boy. 

Jealousy isn’t good. I’m going to have to pray about this.

It’s almost that time

…of the month. Lolz


I’m off today and I had craving for salt & vinegar kettle potato chips. I didn’t have a craving for anything sweet, but I knew I’ll want something sweet later. My school sells these chips but they have a different brand. I like the one at school better.

#randomAF

I’m so mad at myself

I had plans in my planner for today

I ended up staying on phone doing nothing.

I’ve been trying to get better.

For some reason, ever since last Saturday I’ve been spending time on my phone for hours.

This is not good.

God is so gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

So like over a month ago I lost my retainers. I lost my Gosh Darn Retainers!!!!

I’m like how did I lose my retainers in a small two bedroom apartment. 

So night and day for like two weeks I’m praying and I’m trying to be a good Christian, so that I can find my retainers.

I’m like, “God I’ve been praying for two weeks straight, why can’t I find them?” You guys, I’m like getting so frustrated with God. I’m like, “GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??? MY TEETH ARE STARTING TO SHIFT!!! UGHHHHH! GOD, ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON OR SOMETHING???” 

I eventually stopped praying, because I had this feeling that I was going to find it and I just needed to be patient. I just trusted God that I was going to find it. So I’m just chillin and shiz. I’m not worried or frustrated, I’m just all good.

So today I lost my boot and as I was looking for it under my bed…I found my RETAINERS!!!!!! God is so good!

Just relax, and let God do His thang. Trust in Him with your whole heart. 

Psalm 9:10 And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”