If anyone was wondering

I’m fine. I’m cool. I’m chill. I got my braces out last Tuesday!  

 Yeah boyyyyy!!!

Next Wednesday I have my first appointment with my therapist, so that’s cool. 

How does one stop thinking too hard about things?

By distracting themselves. I’m just going to start distracting myself with books and Ugly Betty and Colplay. Oooh they’re coming to my city! Yay!!

Speaking of books, that book I read by Sarah Cross Kill Me Softly freaking sucked. It was creative, but very stupid.

I finished That Summer by Sarah Dessen yesterday. Dessen always dares to surprise me. What makes her books great, are the endings. In That Summer, there’s this dude named Sumner throughout the book you think he’s this amazing great guy, but then you figure out he’s an asshole. I really expected a different ending in that book. She’s really amazing, she gives you the opposite of what you expect. Dessen’s books are great, but they are very slow. The good things always happen when the book is about to end. 

I should start on my homework it’s 8 something pm and I have a lot to do.

 

Excited.Β 

   Today, I went to the library. Yay. I love going to the library, it always calms me. I’m glad I went I had to get some things off my mind. I haven’t read a book in the longest time. The last time I read a book was in December. That’s just sad.
So these are the books I checked out:

Kill Me Softly – Sarah Cross

That Summer – Sarah Dessen (favorite author! Her books are great! Dessen’s books always teaching you something like about friendship or being true to yourself and I like that. Also her books are very relatable)

Ugly Betty. The complete first season. I started watching it again. It’s a πŸ‘ŒπŸΎ show.

How To Be Popular – Meg Cabot (another one of my favorite authors. Cabot’s books are amazing. Her books are kind of similar to Dessens, but more dramatic and silly)

Avalon High – Meg Cabot

I feel bad for renting all these books because all of the authors are white. 

I’m very excited to read these books and watch Ugly Betty!

Idk what to do

I don’t know what’s happening to me. Like I’m usually a really dry person who shows no emotion and says, “Oh” to anything I don’t know how to respond to. Then all of a sudden in January of 2016 I became this cheery happy person and I tried my best to respond with something interesting. Ugh I freaking hate that, I try too hard then things become awkward. Because of this sudden change, I messed up things with my crush.(he also messed up) He and I could’ve had chance. I don’t know how to fix things… I’m so sad and mad. πŸ˜₯😑πŸ˜₯😑😑😑😑πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯😑

The past two days I was m–

I’m just going to put this situation into God’s hands. He’ll know what to do. 

From now on I’m going to quit talking about this boy with my friends and quit writing about him because I’m annoying myself.

Ugh

Why are guys so confusing? No, why are boys confusing? Because the dudes at my school are boys. Insolent little boys. I’m really looking forward to graduation next year. I’m tired of people, especially boys.

I really tried my best, but I tried too hard.

Then I stopped trying and things were going quite swell.

I tried again and failed. Now I’m angry and hungry.

We both had a chance, but we both screwed up.

I really hateΒ dislike that boy.

I’m so freaking irritated.

You know what? Let me just listen to some Coldplay I will feel much better.

The Un-Pleasantry’s of Life

Guys suck

Crushes suck

Everything sucks

Especially guys

Relationships suck (Even though I’ve never been in one)

My crush sucks. When I’m giving him attention he doesn’t like me, when I’m not that’s when he shows me attention and likes me.

F*ck off bro, you’re confusing me.

I hope my crush gives me something for V-Day.

Today I figured out that my crush and I don’t vibe. I realized that today because we were talking and we had so many awkward pauses it was the worst. This never happens when we talk. I’m never initiating conversations with him again.

Life freaking sucks